tween-ty

i was greeted by 18th birthday posts by my acquaintances on multiply and here we are celebrating our 20th. well dont count me in yet, i havent celebrated mine yet. well,  i don't fuzz about getting older. but i have to admit that ageing creams tends to get on to me sometimes.ageing creams start selling to the 20's. curse advertising. enlarged pores do surface on my face, its supposed to be a no big deal, and then here comes gretchen baretto. and the endorsers gets younger and younger, just take the girl from the pond's commercial who rants about her PUMPLE,ooops pimple marks pala. she used to apply concealer to hide those pumple marks. as much as i am tempted to promise, to swear that i will not buy those products, i think i am not brave enough to. someday i know i am going to be convince by those damn advertisements that i am ugly. haha. 

i remember, this is not a hate entry.

moving on.

my 2 kabarkadas in highschool just had their 20th birthdays. beyond the enlarged pores i noticed a lot of things that changed. and i guess i am fearful/ apprehensive/ careful of what the future changes will be. 

after a long time that we haven't seen each other, the official count of those of us who are actually somebody else's half (cheezy!) is 7/10, leaving me one of those who actually lavish the single life. some boyfriends we have learned to embrace into our bubble, some need to humble themselves to earn our approval.  

sure. having boyfriends is not the only entertaining change. sure.  may kotse na si nica. some of us will be graduating this academic year.  nicole was not yet a mom until this year. and who knows who's next in line, but somebody's gotta be next. some of us enjoyed the night outs , while others learn studying is the night life. as far as others are concerned, gsm blue, gin pomelo are the only alcoholic drinks; while others are well-acquainted with bloody mary, weng weng, tequila rose. sure. there will be changes. 

a few years back, there used to be no difference between these people

and us

its a mystery how we are all virtually of the same age, but some grow up faster than others. 

i still believe that its all in the isaw.

some errr

  before the first week of classes, my summer has been filled with litany of complains and envious drooling over other people's gettaways. so when my sister did not sleep for a week to earn moolah, she finally said: punta tayong… then dadi cuts: ILOCOS! his excited narrations of which places to go and what to look out for, of course he orated using his i-know-that-sort-of-thing tone that he gives himself authority to use because he watches too much tv. TOO MUCH TV. so my sister and i were swept away. i was excited. HELL, i was so excited that i forgot the digislr charger for the canon eos that my sister rented.  just imagine her disappointment when she was fidgeting with the zippers of the camera bag on our way to ilocos norte! i want to blame her for not checking it while we were on actuarial st. but then, i repressed the brat in me. it was my fault no matter what angle you look at the situation. 

having said that; as if i don't feel worse enough for leaving something soooo important behind (bec of the fact that she aloted her hard-earned money for the camera) she has to exhale her fear of losing battery within my earshot. just to make sure that i am deeply, sincerely remorseful. gawd, if i had the money right then and there i would have given it to her just to mend the ties that made me distance from her during the trip. i had the money originally, 2 crisp 3-personed, violet bills, inside a secret pocket of my newly-credit card-ed BAYO bag; but then our cambio got fuzzy and tired on Marcos' domain. so i had to shell out my money to buy the car part. In those moments i still wanted to believe that 'everything happens for a purpose.'  we got stranded in ilocos for three hours, the time that could've been spent reaching our destination earlier or exploring new sights. i am still glad that ma's digestive system was not cooperative that we had to stop, luckily, the cambio did not retire while we were on the road. 

within the three hours we've waited, me and a friend managed to create our very own WILSON in the name of DYUY.     our castaway friend. within the three hours, we have a made a film in our minds, contemplated on life, watched the sky, and watched a number of cows being transported out of the town, before they become someone else's dinner. 

after the three hours of waiting, we left DYUY and headed to paoay. the first stop was this large church with intricate details on its facade, a tower that is supposed to be a bell tower if not for the algae and the grass that made it hard to make it out as such. the sun was already setting by the time that we got to the church, imagine the wrong lighting and the wrong gradient of the sky which was not in favor of making the paoay church more breathtaking as it is. ok, lets just say that it was a challenge– to make it appear beautiful in the wrong time of day; but consider taking into account that we were exhausted physically and emotionally, we decided to call it a day.

we spent the night on a nearby beach. WOW BEACH. as far as i remember, i don't remember any memory of my past spent on the sands, the smell of the salt waters was alien to me. it was tempting to dip the littlest millimeter of my flesh unto the waters but then it was high tide already, i just finished enrolling, and i reckoned it was not a good idea to be flowed into the heart of the sea right then and there. so i stayed on the shore and watched the sun kiss the waters and disappear into the blue, as the sky changes its palettes from light to darkness. it was ephemeral. 

 come to think of it. 3 days is ephemeral. everything about the trip was, the money, the time, the excitement, the feeling of looking forward to something– all fleeting and at times misleading. i feel so bitter and ungrateful writing this entry because somehow i know that i laughed somewhere along the way. now i am clueless where i got the mindset that 'everything happens for a purpose.' i know my sister is wondering the same thing. 

all i have to say is my summer is all about the tan lines on my feet.

in the mood for wong kar wai

wong kar wai's movies slapped me on the face, hard enough for me to turn my shoulder at an angle against trash movies. since then, i promised that i will never watch one, unless its for free and there's good popcorn to compensate for the ugliness of the motion picture, MAYBE. 

in the mood for love was created by wong kar wai when he was in the midst of going nowhere with 'ashes of time'. he needed a break from the editing and the making of ashes of time so he said that he wanted to make this movie, an innocently happy/ free flick that i bet resonates his need at those moments. in such state, he was able to craft this movie to perfection– from the instrumentals that is bound to rouse intimate emotions to the plot and the cinematography, it is a packaged beauty. a beautiful movie for me is one where you cannot a single element that you can identify and thus, make it stand out from the rest of the facets of a film. a good movie is a good movie. it is always a mystery which one among the many facets of the motion picture appealed to you most. they must 'hang' together, so to speak. a good movie does not end with its 'running time,' the story lingers on, in you and with you. it makes you think, and makes you believe.

so, how is this movie beautiful again? the story is told not only by the lines of each character, moreover, by the lines that makes the characters. the way the shots were juxtaposed and thought out, it is impossible that you will not think the motives behind each shot. it made me think of the relevance of the hallways, of the night lamppost, of the alley leading to the noodle vendor, etc. etc. maybe you'll be able to really think of the difference between repetition and redundancy with the succession of scenes.  of course, the lighting, it augments every emotion meant to be conveyed.  and perhaps, it misleads you to the wrong assumptions. still, what i liked best in the movie, is how there are varied perspectives inculcated into the story.  just watch it! there are two ways for lust to happen– with a man's initiative and with a woman's. the plot shows the disparity with who initiates the intention. two perspectives, that yielded two different feelings as an audience. and yet in the end, who initiated does not matter.

ok! so i bet you did not understand a word that i typed out here because what i really want to say: maybe you should consider watching more films like this one.  you might wanna be slapped hard on the face too. after all, its worth it.